Today someone stole my debit card and spent twice as much money as I even had in my account. I was livid for about an hour (I considered finding a voo doo priest and putting a curse on the little twerp). But then I started thinking about who this person is and what kind of circumstances they must be in. My card was only missing for 15 minutes total, so you, whoever you are, didn't even bat an eyelash before cleaning me out. That tells me you are one of three things:

1. Desperate: I totally understand. I know what it's like to have rent come due when I've got nothing in my wallet and no prospects for a job. I know what it's like to try and ignore my empty stomach, to wear my shoes into the ground, and wash my clothes in the sink. So, I hope that you can enjoy a second of relief because I know that I will make it out of this rut. I'm not so sure about you.

2. Greedy: I don't think I even need a voo doo priest to curse you because you're stuck with being yourself. You'll probably die alone.


3. Dr. Horrible: You are awesome. You can use my money for your freeze ray any day.